


The Perks of Being Supernatural

by SilverTonguedWriter



Category: Supernatural, The Perks of Being a Wallflower - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-29 01:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/999190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverTonguedWriter/pseuds/SilverTonguedWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU Loosely based off of Perks of Being a Wallflower.</p>
<p>Charlie Bradbury is the new girl at Roman High School. She makes friends with Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Meg Masters, and Jo Harvelle. She finds that the star quarterback Castiel is secretly dating Dean. Meg quickly takes an interest in Charlie and Charlie might be okay with that, but she usually gets really nervous around Sam who is dating Gabriel and she doesn't know why because she is a lesbian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on Perks of Being a Wallflower which means that it doesn't follow everything. Anyway, I hope I did Charlie justice. I haven't really seen that much of Charlie, so it was hard to get inside of her head, but I think I have Dean, Sam, Meg, and Jo down (so that'st good). I hope you enjoy.

Dear friend,  
Someone told me that it always helped to write about your pain. I don’t know if you care or not, but I just need someone to know about my friend Dean. Let me introduce myself first. I’m Charlie, computer genius, complete geek, and ginger lesbian. I’m not who is important though. I’m merely a pair of lips from which a story will come.  
Let’s start from the day I met Dean, shall we?

I was the new girl at Roman High School about a year ago. Not only was I a new student, but I was new in the middle of the school year and I was a sophomore.  
In first period Algebra 2, the teacher asked me to stand up and introduce myself.  
“Hi, I’m Charlie. I moved here from Los Angeles-” A girl in a cheer uniform raised her hand. “Yes?”  
“If you’re from L.A. how come you’re so pale?” She smirked.  
“Well,”  
“Cassie,”  
“Well, Cassie, my parents moved from Scotland in the ‘80s and I didn’t really go to the beach that much.” I nodded awkwardly.  
“Charlie,” a guy raised his hand this time.  
“Yes?”  
“Will you go out with me?”  
“What’s your name?” I asked, annoyed.  
“Michael; I’m named after the angel.”  
“Could’ve fooled me.” This got the class to laugh. “I’m a lesbian, so no; I will not go out with you, but thanks anyway.” I smiled like I had just told him what time it was.  
“Okay, thank you, Miss Bradbury. You may sit down.” Mr. Zachariah pointed to a desk in the back of the room where the slackers most likely sat. One guy was asleep. I made my way to the open desk next to the unconscious guy. “Could you please shake Mr. Winchester awake?” The entire room turned to look at the guy.  
“Sure,” I smiled awkwardly. I poked his shoulder.  
“Mmm?”   
“Hey, buddy.” I whispered, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.  
“What? Yes, my dick is twelve inch-” he suddenly realized where he was. “Shit.” He murmured under his breath.  
“There’ll be plenty of time for you to get the ruler out in detention, Mr. Winchester.” Mr. Zachariah stated, making the entire class burst into laughter. “Now, today we’re going to learn about…” I zoned out.  
“Hey,” the now-awake guy whispered to me.  
“What?” I whispered back.  
“I’m Dean.” He smiled, one of his piercing green eyes winking.  
“And I’m Charlie, the lesbian.” I smirked.  
“Oh… Cool.” He seemed genuine. “So, being new, you must not have many friends…”  
“Thanks?”  
“I meant, would you like to have lunch with me, my brother, and some friends?”   
“Sure,” I smiled gratefully.  
“Right… Well, I’ll see you at lunch then.  
“Yeah.”

The rest of class was rather boring. After that, I had Lit and British History. When it was lunch time, I had to ask someone where to find the cafeteria, but after that, I didn’t have many complications. I got in the line and waited to be served my lunch: a roast beef (I think) sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes and French fries on the side.  
I looked around the enormous room to try and find Dean Winchester and his band of misfits.

“Charlie?” I heard a voice from behind me. I turned around to find Dean smiling.  
“Hey.”  
“Come on. I want you to meet some people.” He guided me to his table full of smiling faces.  
“Charlie, this is Meg, Jo, and Sam” He pointed to them as he said their names. I sat down and smiled awkwardly at them.  
“Hello,”  
“Welcome to the island of misfit toys, Charlie. Enjoy your stay.” Meg winked at me.  
“Thank you… I guess.”  
“So, you’re a lesbian, Charlie?” Meg continued like I hadn’t said anything.  
“Dean tell you?” I asked.  
“Yeah, I tend to like girls too.” She winked at me  
“That’s cool.” I felt really awkward.  
“Don’t listen to Meg. She flirts with anything that has two legs and a pulse.” Dean pierced the silence.  
“I’ll take the former over the latter.” She licked her fudge-pop seductively.  
“Really? So you’d rather have sex with a corpse with two legs than a living person with one or none?” Jo looked at her in mock disbelief.  
“It’s all or nothing, sweet pea.” Meg replied. I was officially not the topic of conversation, so I relaxed a little and started to eat my fries.  
When the final bell rang and the school day was finally over, I passed Sam in the parking lot and he stopped me.  
“Charlie,” He shouted from about fifteen feet away. I walked over to him and Meg.  
“Hey, Sam,” I smiled. Meg was looking me up and down and not even making an effort to hide it.  
“Do you want to come with us to a party tonight?” Sam asked.  
“Sure, I’d love to.” I smiled. “But can you pick me up? My parents have this stupid rule about not being allowed to drive after sunset because I wear contacts and I have really bad eyesight so-”  
“Charlie, you’re rambling.” He laughed good-naturedly.  
“Sorry, I tend to do that.” I smiled. “Here’s my address.” I said, grabbing his hand and writing my address in his palm.  
“Okay, see you at seven.”

I stood in front of my closet, staring at all of the clothes that wouldn’t work for the party. I finally decided on black jeans, a white blouse, a black blazer, and an Avenger’s comic strip tie. I heard the doorbell ring just as I was finishing tying my tie. I ran down the stairs and opened the door, seeing Sam then looking at my Spock watch.

“You’re early.” I declared after seeing that it was only 6:47.  
“Sorry, Dean wanted to get there before everyone else.” Sam gave an apologetic smile.  
“That’s fine; just let me get my shoes, okay? Come in.” I motioned for him to sit on the couch as I went to the back door to grab my Wonder Woman converse.  
“Sure.” He said, sitting and looking way too big for my small grey love seat. I came back in and sat next to him to tie my shoelaces.  
“I like your tie-pin.” Sam said fingering the deathly hallows tie pin that I was wearing.  
“Thanks,” I said, blushing. I didn’t know why, but for some reason, I was nervous around Sam. “Okay, all done. Shall we?” I motioned for Sam to stand.  
“Yeah,” He said, walking out behind me. I locked the door and we went to get in Dean’s car.  
“Sexy car,” I said, opening the door. “67 Impala, right?” Sam got in the passenger seat and I got in the front.  
“Yeah, you sure know your cars.” He looked impressed.  
“I love classic cars.” I smiled.  
“Now, if you two ladies would like to stop obsessing over cars,” Sam interjected.  
“Bitch,” Dean said quite casually.  
“Jerk,” Sam replied.

The rest of the ride, which lasted all of fifteen minutes, was quite fun. I found out that Dean likes a lot of the same stuff as me; Star Wars, Star Trek, and stuff like that.

“Well, see you two later.” Dean said, parking the Impala in front of a house that was obviously where the party was. There was loud music coming from the open windows and doors, teenagers drinking and smoking god knows what on the lawn, and lights flashing from inside.  
“Where is Dean going?” I asked.  
“To meet someone.” Sam stated, obviously not wanting to explain further. “Let’s go find Meg and Jo.”  
“Okay.”

We walked inside and Sam directed me to the basement. We walked past a pool table with tons of teenagers standing around drinking from red solo cups. A blonde girl offered Sam and me one. Sam took one, but I declined. Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me into another part of the basement where Jo and Meg were sitting on a couch eating brownies and drinking from red cups.

“Hey, Charlie,” Meg stood up and wrapped her arm around my waist.  
“Hey, Meg,” I gotta say, Meg was hot. She was wearing way too tight ripped jeans and a black leather jacket. Her boots were laced up to her knees and they had six inch heels. Under her leather jacket, she wore a red and black striped corset that was lined with lace and fit her flawlessly. Her hair was to her shoulders and brown with streaks of white and black. I could tell that She knew she was hot.  
“I’m gonna go say hi to Gabriel.” Sam said, walking away.  
“Why don’t you sit?” Meg said motioning to the couch with her cup. We both sat down and Meg didn’t let me go for a second. “Do you want a brownie?” She asked innocently.  
“God, yes! I’m starving.” I said, taking one and biting into it. It tasted kind of funny and made me feel kind of funny, but it was still good.  
After about six brownies I was way past feeling funny and closer to feeling high.  
“Can I ask you something?” I turned to Meg.  
“Anything, Sugar,”  
“Am-Am I high?” I giggled.  
“Yes, you are.” Meg smiled and laughed.  
“Where’s Dean?”  
“Busy,” She said quickly.  
“Would you excuse me?” I wasn’t really waiting for an answer. I stood up and went upstairs to find a bathroom. I stopped when I passed the kitchen and saw Sam with his arms around some guy. “Hey, Sammy,” I said, interrupting. Sam pulled away a little from the guy to look at me.  
“Hey, Charlie. This is Gabriel.” Sam still had his arms around Gabe’s waist.  
“Can I have a milkshake? I want a milkshake.” I said, ignoring Gabe.  
“Sure, Charlie.” Sam laughed a little. “I’ll see you later.” He whispered in Gabriel’s ear. He left us alone and I sat on a stool.  
“Are you two dating?” I asked, resting my elbow on the counter and my chin on my fist.  
“Yeah,” Sam smiled in that way that kind of made my heart melt. He pulled the blender out from somewhere and got some ice cream.  
“I like you… and your friends.”   
“I’m glad.” He scooped some ice cream and put it in the blender.  
“I miss my old friend.”  
“Was your friend in L.A?”  
“She was. She killed herself.”  
“God, Charlie, I’m so sorry.” Sam stopped what he was doing and just looked at me.  
“Does this place have a bathroom?” I asked before I would start to cry.  
“Up the stairs, second door on the right.”  
“Thanks.” I said, standing up and going up the stairs. “Okay, second door on the left.” I opened the door and this is what I saw: “God, Dean, I need you inside me.” Some guy in letterman jacket whimpered. Dean was shirtless and the guy was under him. They were kissing and Dean ground his hips into the jock’s. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll always be able to feel me inside you, Cas.” Dean said, unbuttoning his jeans.  
I stood there, frozen. Cas looked up and froze.  
“What is it?” Dean asked, just before looking up and seeing me. Cas jumped away from Dean and started buttoning his pants. Dean stood up.  
“It’s okay. She’s cool. You’re cool, right Charlie?” I could only nod. Dean pulled me out of the room and shut the door behind him. “Listen, Cas doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s gay so-wait” He noticed me giggling. “Are-are you baked?”  
“Like a cake.” I giggled some more.  
“God, Charlie.”Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, just… promise that you won’t tell anyone about me and Cas.” Dean’s green eyes were pleading.  
“I promise.”  
“Thanks.” Dean looked really grateful.

And that is how I met Dean Winchester and my other friends.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's a smidge short, but I will have another chapter posted after this one just as soon as I proof-read.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Dear Friend,  
Hello, it’s Charlie again. I still don’t know if you care, but if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue where I left off.

After that party, I became a lot closer with Dean and Sam. It was great. I finally had some real friends after the tragic suicide of my best friend. I didn’t mention to Sam that I had been in love with her, or that her name was Gilda, or that she had written in her suicide note that she loved me but was afraid that I wouldn’t love her. I also didn’t mention how I had started to hurt myself after that and almost killed myself. We were becoming close, but not that close yet.

I usually met Dean and Sam in the parking lot about half an hour before school. We talked and just enjoyed each other’s company. Dean had told me how every day about two hours before school, he and Castiel would meet and kiss or talk and then Castiel would leave right before anyone else showed up. I felt bad for Dean having to keep his relationship so secret, but he assured me that he was fine with it. He also told me about how a few months back, Dean and Castiel would meet at a party and Cas would get drunk or high and kiss Dean; the next morning at school Castiel would pretend that nothing ever happened and say he was “too drunk or stoned to remember anything”. Sam said that Dean was very depressed during this time. This went on for a month and then one night while they were about to have sex, Castiel started crying and said that he loved Dean. After that, Castiel didn’t need to get drunk or high to love Dean; he did it all by himself and Dean was so happy. I was happy for him.

Meg asked me to the homecoming dance today. I accepted (not that she gave me much of a choice). I don’t mind, though. Meg is nice to me. I like that. She said that she’d pick me up Friday night and that I should wear my best outfit. I guess Meg likes dances. She was really excited when I said yes.

I don’t really know how to dance, so wish me luck.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter coming shortly... like a few minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has a little bit of Charlie and Meg getting friendly, Dean and Cas being sad, and Charlie starting to feel things for Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! It's here!  
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it!

Dear Friend,

The homecoming dance was a lot of fun. I danced with Meg mostly, but Sam did ask for one dance and I felt funny the entire time; like I had butterflies in my stomach. Dean asked me to dance a few times. I could tell that he was upset because Castiel had brought this girl named Anna to the dance and Cas looked like he was having a good time. Meg didn’t mind Dean dancing with me because she knew Dean was hurting. I did notice Castiel’s face give a really sad look every time he saw Dean, which was often. Castiel kept looking at Dean every time Dean’s back was turned. I wanted to say something to Dean, but I thought it would make Dean feel worse.

Meg was dressed very elegantly. Her dress was black with silver designs around the waist and at the bottom. It was to her knees and it was strapless. As always, it fit Meg perfectly and her hair was up in a bun. It seemed like she was trying to impress me and it was sort of working.  
After the dance, Meg took me to her house.

“My parents aren’t home. They’re out at some dinner with friends.” Meg said, pouring some champagne for both of us. “Do you want to listen to some music?” I was very particular about my music, so I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I nodded. She put on some song I’d never heard and came over to the couch.  
“This is a nice house.” I said, looking around at the fancy furnishings.  
“Thanks.” She said, not really caring. She leaned in very close and kissed me. It felt kind of weird. I’d never been kissed, so I hadn’t really known what to expect. Her hands started to unbutton my blouse and make their way to my bra. I pulled back a little. “Nervous?” I think she was really asking herself. It was weird. I had always seen Meg as this confident person, but now here she was, shaking a little and trying so hard to make me happy. “Here, touch me.” She grabbed my hands softly and placed them on her chest and then kissed me softly. She then grabbed my right hand and pulled it around to her back. “Unzip my dress.” She said softly in my ear. I did as I was told and she smiled, kissing my neck.  
There was the sound of a garage opening.   
“Shit! My parents are home! Help me with my dress.” My fingers fumbled on the zipper and I finally got it up. “Here,” She buttoned up my shirt just as her parents walked in.  
“Hello, Meg. Who’s this?” A beautiful blonde woman with blue eyes smiled.  
“Lilith, this is Charlie. Charlie, meet my step-mom, Lilith.” Meg squeezed my hand.  
“Honey,” Lilith yelled to someone. “Come meet Meg’s friend.” A short, sort of plump man walked in.  
“And who might this be?” He asked. He had a British accent.  
“Dad, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is my father.” He stuck out his hand for me to shake.  
“Please, call me Crowley.” He smiled.  
“Charlie was just about to leave. We just got home from the dance and I was going to change and then take her home.”   
“Okay,” Lilith smiled. Meg went to her room, pulling me along and got changed into something more comfortable. She then took me home and kissed me good night.

When I got in the door, my mom was in the kitchen.  
“Sweetie, is that you?” She called.  
“Yes, Mom, it’s me. I’m going to bed.” I said, walking up the stairs.  
“Sam called.”  
“Okay.” I walked to my room and got out my phone to call Sam back.  
“Hello?”  
“Sam, you called?”  
“Yeah. I wanted to ask how it went with Meg.”  
“Great, I met her parents…” I said, sarcastically.  
“Ouch. They’re kind of intimidating.  
“No kidding. So, how was Gabriel?”  
“He was good-I mean our date was good.”  
“I’m glad.” Why was I starting to cry?  
“I’ll see you Monday?”  
“Yeah,” I cleared my throat. Sam hung up.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had absolutely no motivation to write, but I wanted to anyway. I read Twist and Shout and now my heart hurts. (If you haven't read it, please do.) It's the most amazing fanfiction or piece of literature that I've ever read. I've never cried so hard. (It's Destiel) Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

Dear Friend,

I had the most wonderful night of my life. Sam and Dean invited me over to watch a movie for Sam’s birthday. It started out as just watching one movie, but it soon turned into a Star Wars marathon. Sam kept teasing Dean for mouthing all the words, but he stopped once I joined in with Dean. We stayed up late and laughed and talked and it was just really fun. Then Gabriel stopped by to give Sam a present. I wish I had known it was Sam’s birthday before today. I would’ve gotten him a better present than what Gabriel got him. Gabriel got him a white feather. A feather. Sam looked grateful and he said he liked it, but I could tell he was as dumbfounded as Dean and I were.   
When Gabriel left, Sam was the first to crack a joke, which made me feel better about Gabriel even showing up to our movie night.

“Dude, what kind of a present is a feather?” Dean laughed.  
“I honestly don’t know.” Sam replied. “Maybe it- Man, I don’t even know what to say about it.” We all began to laugh.  
“Let’s get back to the movie.” I really wanted to forget that Gabriel had even been there.  
“Sammy, I’m gonna have to get to sleep. I have to work in the morning.” Dean yawned.  
“Okay, night.” Sam smiled.  
“Night, Charlie.”  
“Night.”  
We sat back down on the couch and continued our movie. When it was over Sam said he was hungry.  
“D’you want anything?” Sam asked, walking into the kitchen. I followed.  
“Milkshake.”  
“You really like milkshakes, don’t you, Charlie?” He went to the fridge and pulled out a tub of ice cream.  
“If I were only allowed to eat one thing for the rest of my life, I hope it would be a milkshake.”  
“Charlie,”  
“Yes, Sam?”  
“Why are you so amazing?”  
“What?”  
“You’re so amazing, why? I’ve never met anyone as amazing as you.” My heart began to pound and I know my face turned red.  
“I’m not-“  
“No, you are.” He grabbed my face with his hand and rested him thumb on my cheek. In that moment, I realized why I was always nervous around Sam, why my heart always sped up when I saw him, why I got really sad when he talked about Gabriel. I was in love with Sam Winchester. It took the breath out of me and I had to regain my thoughts before I could speak. It was like a light switch had been flipped in my brain and I suddenly had all the answers in the universe. I was in love with Sam Winchester. I, Charlie Bradbury, was in love with Sam Winchester. I also realized that it didn’t matter to me that he was a guy, it only mattered that I loved him.  
“Sam,” I could barely find words. “I could ask you the same.”  
“Do you want to spend the night,” he asked.  
“Where would I sleep?”  
“with me?”   
“You want me to sleep with you?”   
“What’s the harm? You have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. Nothing’s going to happen.”  
“Yes.” It came out way faster and way more eager than intended. “Wait- by sleep you mean actually sleep, right?” I had to clarify.  
“Yes,” Sam laughed. He still hadn’t let go of my face, but I didn’t mind.

So, we slept in the same bed, milkshakes forgotten. When I woke up, we were facing each other and he had his arm around me, but I let it stay there.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Friend,

I made a terrible mistake.

Sam, Dean, Meg, Jo, and I were hanging out at Sam and Dean’s house. Someone suggested we play truth or dare.

“Dean, truth or dare?” Meg smirked as she planned what to say in her head. It was common knowledge that Dean would always take a dare, so she was already deciding upon it.  
“Dare,”  
“Shocker… I dare you… to… play Seven Minutes with Jo.” Meg looked pleased with herself, placing her arm around my shoulder. Meg was on my left and Sam sat on my right.  
“Really? Meg, are we seventh graders?”  
“You chose dare.”  
“Fine. Jo, let’s go in the closet.” This caused everyone to whistle and shout. Jo glanced at Meg with an annoyed look. They went in the closet and seven minutes later, they came out without saying a word.  
“Was it good, Jo?” Meg tried to stop from smiling.  
“I’ve had better.” Jo proclaimed.  
“Yeah, right. I’m the best damn kisser that any one of you bitches has ever seen. Right, Sammy?” Dean looked proud.  
“How the hell would I know?” This raised some eyebrows.  
“Charlie, truth or dare?” Dean ignored the looks he was getting.  
“Uh… Dare, I guess.”   
“I dare you to kiss the person you love.” Dean smiled. He was trying to go easy on me. He had no idea. Everyone expected me to kiss Meg and I thought I was going to. Before I could stop myself, I turned and kissed Sam. Sam pulled back and looked at me with a shocked expression. I turned to Meg and she looked completely pissed and upset.  
“Get the fuck out!” She screeched.  
“Charlie, I’ll take you home.” Dean grabbed my arm. Meg ran up the stairs and Sam and Jo went after her.

When we got outside, Dean stopped me.

“What the hell was that?” Dean demanded.  
“I-I don’t know. One second I was going to kiss Meg and the next, I was turning to Sam and I-” I began to cry.  
“Get in the car.” We both got in. “Charlie, maybe it’d be best if you didn’t go around Sam or Meg for a while.”

Dean proceeded to tell me how Meg had planned to use Dean’s dare to tell me that she loved me. He dropped me off at my house and I went to my room and cried myself to sleep.

On Monday, I tried to stay away from Sam, but I saw him in the hall and I had to talk to him.

“Sam, can we talk?”  
“Do you have any idea how bad you hurt Meg?” Sam spat.  
“I’m so sorry. I-”  
“Save it.” Sam walked away.

For three weeks, no one would talk to me and I cried myself to sleep every night. Every day I called Dean to ask how everyone was. For the first few days, he told me. One day, he didn’t answer his phone and for two weeks he wouldn’t talk to me. Sam finally called to tell me about Dean.

The day he wouldn’t answer, he had been over at Castiel’s house. They had been kissing or something and Castiel’s father walked in. Castiel’s father began to beat Castiel and Dean had to sit and watch. Dean begged Castiel’s father to stop, but he wouldn’t. He called Dean and Castiel fags and he almost started to beat Dean, but Castiel stood between them. Castiel wouldn’t let his father touch Dean. He told Dean to leave and so he did. The next day at school, Castiel broke up with Dean and that was the end.

I wish I had something more pleasant to tell you, but I don’t.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Friend,

Today my English Teacher, Mr. Singer, told me something. Mr. Singer has been my friend since I hurt my other friends. He has given me books to read and I thoroughly enjoy them. He has been a very good friend since I started talking to him.

Today was when I decided to tell him about my mistakes, he was sort of helpful.

“Sometimes people don’t forgive as soon as we’d hope.” He reasoned.  
“I don’t think they’ll ever forgive me. Sam won’t forgive me. Meg won’t forgive me. I tried to apologize, but I think she hates me now.”  
“Charlie, I don’t think you really love Meg. I think you keep telling yourself that because you don’t think you’re worthy of Sam.”  
“I’m not.”  
“We accept the love we think we disserve.”  
“What?”  
“I think that it’s not your place to decide if you disserve Sam. I think it’s his place to decide that. Keep apologizing. Eventually, Sam will realize that you didn’t want to hurt anyone.”  
“Thank you, Mr. Singer.” I smiled for the first time in weeks.  
“Please, call me Bobby.”  
“Thank you, Bobby.”

I left his classroom, went to the cafeteria, and found an empty table. I took a bite of my sandwich when I heard a fight in the middle of the room.

“Faggot.” One of Castiel’s friends tripped Dean, made him spill his lunch, and fall on the floor.  
“Leave me alone.” Dean very calmly stood up and tried to walk away.  
“I’m not done with you, Fag.” He shoved Dean in the stomach and made him fall again. I know Dean could’ve taken that guy, but he wouldn’t let him think they got to him.  
“Yeah, Fag, you can’t leave yet.” Another guy joined in. Castiel stood there, looking helpless. He had a black eye.  
“Just drop it.” Dean tried to walk away again, but the first guy punched him. Castiel only flinched.

I ran to Dean.

“Are you okay, Dean?” I helped him up.  
“So now you have a girl defending you, Faggot?” The second guy laughed.

I ran at him and punched him as hard as I could. I don’t remember what happened after that. The next thing I knew, Sam was pulling me away, my knuckles were bloody, and the two guys were passed out on the floor. I struggled against Sam.

“Let me go!” I screamed. “I’m not letting you touch me!” I was thrashing.  
“Charlie, stop.” Sam hugged me. I suddenly felt safe and warm. I hugged him back and began to cry. Principal Crowley showed up and told me to go to the nurse’s office before I went to his office.  
“Sam, will you come with me?” I looked up at him.  
“Yeah, Charlie, I will.” He smiled and I knew. I just knew that he would forgive me.

We entered the nurse’s office and she wrapped up my hands and told me to wait there while she got some pain medication.

“Charlie, how did you fight like that?” Sam looked amazed.  
“I-I don’t remember what happened.”  
“You beat them up. You also kept yelling things.”  
“W-What did I yell?”  
“Things like ‘Daddy, stop touching me’, and ‘It hurts, it hurts.”  
“I’m gonna be sick.” I grabbed the trash bin next to the bed and let it all go. After a few minutes of silence, I had to ask. “Sam, will you please forgive me?”  
“Of course.” His smile warmed my heart. “You saved my brother. I don’t think even I or Dean could’ve taken those douche bags.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in.” Sam said.  
“Sam, can I talk to her alone?” it was Castiel.  
“Sure.” Sam stood up and left.  
“The hell do you want?” I barked.  
“I wanted to thank you.”  
“For doing what you wouldn’t?”  
“For doing what I couldn’t.”  
“So, you would just sit there while the person you love gets hurt?”  
“It wasn’t like that. I did stop him from getting hurt.”  
“Once. And you think that makes up for it?”  
“Not at all. What I’m saying is… Those guys could only do so much before a teacher came and stopped them. My father would’ve killed Dean. He almost killed me. I-”  
“Get out.” I yelled. He did.

When I went to Principal Crowley’s office, I got suspended for a week and, at home, grounded for two, but I was happy because I had my friends back.

I’m glad to have good news to share today.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to have Charlie hug Bobby because Bobby is an awesome father figure, but I figured that since Bobby is her teacher, it'd seem a bit pedophile-ish.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think my chapters are getting shorter and shorter. I'm really sorry for that.

Dear Friend,

When I got my friends back, I made a promise to myself. I promised myself that I would stop loving Sam because he had a boyfriend and he didn’t need me to love him. I’m finding that promise very hard to keep. 

Three nights ago, when Sam, Gabriel, Meg, and her new boyfriend Azazel (what an odd name) were going on a double date to a movie, I had come over to hang out with Dean.

“Charlie,” Meg addressed me seriously. “I know this is hard for you, but I’m dating Azazel now and we’re happy. He talks to me and we have deep discussions. I hope you’re able to move on.” She genuinely looked sorry for me, like I was the victim instead of her.  
“Thanks… I’ll try.” I humored her. She walked over to where Gabriel and Azazel were standing. Gabriel kept looking at me like I took the last cookie or something.  
“Is Sam ever coming?” Meg asked.  
“I’ll go check.” Gabriel disappeared up the stairs.

A few minutes later, Sam and Gabriel appeared and they all said goodbye to Dean and I.

“Why don’t we get outta here, Charlie?” Dean smiled.

Dean hadn’t been his usual self lately. He tried to joke and smile, but when he thought no one was looking, he looked sad and alone. That is why I’m spending more time with him. I know what it’s like to be alone and I don’t want Dean to feel like that.

We got in the Impala and drove. Somewhere along the way to the mall, we found ourselves at the park. Dean pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

“Charlie, why can’t you save anybody?” Dean asked out of nowhere.  
“Some people don’t want to be saved, I guess...”  
“I know I should just get over Cas, but I can’t. I still love him and every time I think about him, I keep picturing his beaten and bruised body standing and protecting me and I-” Dean’s voice went horse and he had to stop talking. I think he was afraid to cry in front of me because he looked like he was going to cry, but he didn’t.  
“Did Sam tell you that Castiel visited me in the nurse’s office after the fight?”  
“No…”  
“He wanted to thank me. He said that he didn’t help you because he knew those guys would eventually get stopped.”  
“That makes it okay?”  
“He said that he saved you from being killed by his father... I think he knew that you could handle some jock douche bags, but if they were really a threat, I think he would’ve protected you from them too.”  
“I’m not some stupid girl who needs to be fucking protected!”   
“I know that and I’m sure he does too. I think he could’ve just sat there while his dad hit you, but he didn’t, Dean. He could’ve just not done anything, but he risked his life for you. He stopped his father from killing you.”  
“Are you making excuses for him?”  
“No…” I said calmly. “I’m telling you that you need to stop obsessing over some stupid ass jocks and realize that Castiel did all he could. You don’t ever have to talk to him again, but you should at least be able to forgive him for being an idiot. Dean, he loves you.”  
“I’m going to take you home, Charlie.”

Dean still hasn’t talked to me since then. I think he’s mad because he knows that I was right.

Sincerely,  
Charlie Bradbury


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Friend,

 I had a good day.

I was over at Sam’s house because Sam found out that Gabriel has been cheating on him since they started dating. I tried to feel bad for Sam, but I couldn’t stop feeling excited, relieved, and happy.

“Charlie, do you ever wish you could just pause life sometimes?”

 We were in Sam’s room, sitting on Sam’s bed and talking about nothing in particular.

“I used to.”

“Why don’t you anymore?”

“Well, I used to want to stop life completely and then one day I realized that if I did, I would miss out on things like school, dances, parties, friends, and all the little things I’ve ever wanted to do. Have you ever seen a commercial for some place and say ‘That looks like a nice place.’? You may never plan on visiting, but by stopping your life, you eliminate any chance of ever going. Even if you hadn’t planned on going, you never even could fantasize about going. I don’t care about the big things. They will find me when they feel like it. I don’t want to miss eating milkshakes and talking to you and hugging puppies. They’re too important to give up.”

“You are wise beyond your years, Charlie Bradbury.” Sam smiled absently. He was still hurting.

“Do you want a milkshake, Sam?” I smiled.

“I love you.” Sam looked me in the eye.

“I love you too.” I said it before I even thought about it.

“Why?” The question meant more than just what was implied.

“I don’t know, Sam.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

“Charlie,”

“Yes, Sam?”

“I love you in _that_ way.” I pulled back and looked at him, confused.

“What way?

“The way you love milkshakes and puppies.”

“Sam, I love you way more than milkshakes and puppies.” I giggled a little.

“Me too.”

“You love yourself more than milkshakes and puppies?” I joked.

“You know what I meant.” He kissed me. It was short and sweet, but I conveyed everything we were both feeling.

 I do love him with all my heart. I love him so much.

Sincerely,

Charlie Bradbury


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get your tissues ready.

Dear Friend,

 Why is it that whenever something really good happens, some terrible thing comes and kills your happiness?

 I’m sorry; I haven’t written in a while, but something absolutely tragic has happened.

 Castiel Novak killed himself last Friday.

 Dean got a text from Castiel, asking him to come to the football field. Dean had been in class and his phone was in his locker, so he saw the text about an hour after it was sent. He decided to go anyway. He thought maybe Cas would still be there.

 He walked up to the football field and saw the body. Castiel was hanging from the goal post by his neck.

 The coroner’s report says that Castiel slit his wrists vertically then took a lethal mixture of Xanax and alcohol before he slit his throat and hung himself. It is also on the coroner’s report that Castiel had multiple layers of bruising and gashes all over his back from before that day and he had been starved. Mr. Novak is being charged with gross negligence and child abuse. He will serve life in prison. Small fucking mercies.

 Dean did find a note that Castiel had left for him. He let me read it.  It read:

_Dean,_

_I have done so much wrong. It is time to do some right. I know this will hurt you and I’m so sorry. I love you more than I can ever say. I should never have treated you the way I did. I should have stood up for you and held your hand in public and let everyone know how much I loved you. You were the saving grace in my life. I don’t think I could’ve made it this far without you._

_When I first met you, I was struggling to accept who I was. I was going to kill myself because I knew that no one cared about me. Now, I know that someone loves me. I just can’t handle any more._

_No one will ever understand how much I loved you or why. They won’t understand us._

_Do you want to know what I was thinking the first time I met you?_

_We were in the eighth grade. I was the nerd and you were that weird kid that everyone was afraid to talk to. I thought you looked lonely. Being an outcast myself, I decided to come talk to you. The moment you said “Did the girls get too feminine for you?” I knew. I knew that I would love you until the day I died. And I did._

_I want to thank you. Thank you for getting me farther than I could have ever gotten on my own. You have been my guardian angel. I’m sorry for hurting you. I love you. I love you. I love you._

_Castiel_

 I wish I could understand, but I know I never will. All I can do is be here for Dean. He’s really hurting right now.

Sincerely,

Charlie Bradbury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I was going to kill Dean and Cas was going to find the body (and then maybe kill himself), but it made so much more sense to kill Cas. Sorry...
> 
> I love you?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst....

Dear Friend,

 Despite everything that has happened to Dean lately, he’s holding up better than I expected. He’s going to graduate soon and I know that he is going to do great things at college, but right now he’s still in pain. College was all he talked about before Castiel’s death and now, he hardly talks at all.

 Sam and I have started officially dating. I’m really happy. We sit together at lunch and in art. I asked him how Dean was really doing and he said

“He’s not doing as well as everyone thinks. He’s just lost the person he loved and I have no idea how to help him.”

 We were sitting by Dean’s car, waiting for him to get out of detention. Dean had been getting into trouble lately and at first, the teachers let it slide, but then he finally pushed passed their level of sympathy and got suspended for a couple of days. That day, he yelled at Mr. Singer and said he was “just a pussy English teacher” and that he should “go fuck himself” after Mr. Singer asked if he was okay.

“I know it’s tough. I’m sorry.” I kissed Sam’s cheek.

“We gonna go or what?” Dean opened to driver’s door and got in the Impala. We got in the back seat. We held hands and sat next to each other. “Could you two get a fucking room with your lovey-dovey shit?” Dean barked.

 Sam and I just scooted away from each other a little and Dean dropped me off at my house.

 Dean had been getting more aggressive and angry toward everybody. He even gave Sam a black eye when he tried to ask how he was.

 I’m finding it harder each day to feel sorry for Dean.

Sincerely,

Charlie Bradbury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurts me to hurt Dean and Cas, but it makes for a good story.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is it. I've finished. I really hope that you've enjoyed this story and that you'll read my other. I also promise never to make Charlie the slightest bit heterosexual ever again. I don't ship Charlie and Sam, but it worked for this fic and this fic only.

Dear Friend,

 Dean graduated on Friday. His dad showed up and Sam said that Dean should’ve been happy about that, but Dean wasn’t happy about anything anymore.

“Congratulations, Dean!”

 We were at Sam and Dean’s house and we were celebrating Dean and Meg graduating.

“Cas should’ve been here too…” Dean mumbled.

“What college are you going to?” I smiled.

“I’m not going.” Everyone got quiet.

“What?” his father asked.

“I’m not fucking going to college.” Dean walked into the kitchen and Mr. Winchester followed.

“I’m sorry.” I said to Sam.

“He’s been like this. I figured he wouldn’t, but Dad was dead set on it.”

“I never know what to say to Dean anymore…”

“Let’s go upstairs.” Sam smiled. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to his room.

 Once inside, his kissed me.

“Sam,” he kissed me before I could continue. He put his arms around my waist and I pushed him to the bed. He sat down and I sat, straddling his hips. His hands went up to my chest and I pulled away.

 I remembered something.

“What’s wrong?”

“My head… is killing me.” He made me lay down on the bed.

 Memories I’d never seen before were flooding my head.

“Make it stop!” I cried. “Make it stop!”

“Make what stop?” Sam asked frantically. “Dad!” he yelled. “Dad, call 911!”

“What?” I heard Mr. Winchester walk up the stairs.

“Call 911. Her head started to hurt really bad all of a sudden and she’s yelling for me to make it stop.”

“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. “Don’t touch me! Mommy! Help me, Mommy! He’s hurting me! He’s touching me! I don’t like it!”

 I was remembering all these things I had buried. Memories of me when I was four filled my head all at once.

“What’s wrong with her, Dad?”

“I’ll go call an ambulance. You, make sure she doesn’t hurt herself.

 I blacked out after that.

 I woke up in a hospital room. I heard a beeping and I realized how dry my throat was. I opened my eyes and looked around. There was no one else in the room. I moved all of my limbs. Nothing was hurting, so why was I in a hospital?

 The door opened and Sam walked in with a bottle of water.

“Charlie, you’re awake.” Sam smiled.

“Water…” I croaked.

“Oh, sure.” He opened to bottle and handed it to me. I took a sip and the cool water felt so good in my dry mouth and throat.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Sam asked.

“What happened?” I repeated.

“Maybe I should let the doctor explain it…” He stood up and walked out.

 A few minutes later, he returned with a nice-looking woman with a white coat and a stethoscope around her neck.

“Hello, Charlie. I’m Dr. Tran. How are you feeling?” She asked.

“Why am I here?”

“You reawakened some suppressed memories that you really didn’t want. You had a bad experience as a child and it was so traumatic that you chose to forget it, but they accidentally re-surfaced.”

 It all suddenly came back to me; kissing Sam, my father touching me, passing out.

“My dad… he…”

“We know… You said some things in your sleep.”

“Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know, but we believe you buried those memories when your father died.”

When Dr. Tran finally told my mother about what my father had done, she cried. I wished that she didn’t have to know, but I knew that she did.

 I’ll be staying in the hospital all summer and Sam and Dean promised me that they’d visit me every day. I even got Dean to promise to be on his best behavior.

I believe that this will be my last letter to you. I’ve decided to go and live my life instead of writing about it. I hope you understand.

Goodbye,

Charlie Bradbury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the ending and I hope you'll read more of my fics.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Although you may think that Castiel is very small and fragile, we have recently learned in 9x01 that Cas is very buff. So, I believe that it is perfectly alright for Cas to be quarterback.


End file.
